Let's look at seven ways to improve your marriage
Marriage is a beautiful gift, and at the same time, it comes with its challenges. That is why I want to share with you a few things that you can do to help your marriage grow and thrive. All it takes is the willingness to put in a little effort, when both partners keep these things in mind it can lead to a long lasting and fulfilling marriage.
1. Be willing to look for help
The first way in which you can improve your marriage is by seeking out help early on in your relationship. This is one of the most important steps that is so often ignored. It usually takes years for a couple to get to the point where they are willing to receive help. Often times people only look for help when their marriage is at the point of breaking. However, think about a car, from the moment you buy it you know to take it to get an oil change every couple months. You know that in order to keep it running properly, the oil needs to be cleaned out and refilled on a regular basis, you don’t wait until it is stalled on the highway before taking it to the mechanic.
This is the same when it comes to a marriage, by regularly checking in and maintaining your relationship, your marriage will have a better chance to be long lasting and healthy. So, begin receiving help as soon as possible so that you can give your marriage the best future possible!
2. Be aware of what you say and do
Often in marriage, it can be easy to let every word or thought slip out whenever you feel like it. But just because you are in a committed relationship, that does not mean that you should say and act without any thought to your partner. Think about how you can be honest yet also kind to the other person. This doesn’t mean you should hide the truth, but you want everyone to walk away from the conversation feeling heard and respected. So be kind to one another in your words, thoughts, and actions.
3. Be careful how you begin an argument
It can be easy to quickly escalate a conflict, leading to an argument where both sides are hurt and bitter by the end. So instead, if you have something to say, begin slowly and gently. Take your time as you engage with the conflict and do not fall into the trap of blame shifting or unnecessarily criticizing the other person. Resilient relationships deactivate conflict by the way each person chooses to respond, not by reacting. More on this here.
4. Allow yourself to be influenced by your spouse
When two people join in marriage they are joining in more than simply their name. They have to share the decisions, the hopes, the dreams, and life circumstances of the other person. Therefore, it is necessary that both sides are equally influenced by the other. Women tend to be more natural in this area, but it is vital that the husband in the relationship also allows himself to be influenced by his wife. At times, when decisions have to be made, both sides need to be willing to let go of what they want in order to serve the other person well.
5. Calling each other higher
Neither side in a marriage relationship should be content with low expectations for their spouse. If one spouse allows the other to be hurtful or behave in unloving ways, from the beginning, then it will lead to an unhappy marriage in the end. Each person in the relationship should have a low level of tolerance for poor behavior.
6. Learn how to end an argument well
We all are familiar with that awkward tension that can happen after a conflict has been resolved. The best way to end an argument well is by affirming the other person, or perhaps even engaging in humor. By doing this, you are leaving the conflict in the past and moving forward feeling resolved and loved. Some phrases you could use are “Thank you for working this out with me, I appreciate you” or maybe “I know that wasn’t easy but I am really grateful we worked that out, thank you”. Use whatever phrase, words, or laughter is most comfortable for you to help close an argument in a healthy and happy manner.
7. Stay Positive
Last but not least, the key ingredient to a healthy marriage is accentuating the positive and limiting the negative. If you only focus on the negative you will only see what you do not like which then leads to discontentment and possibly more conflict. By paying closer attention to the positive it leads to a more engaged, enjoyable, and grateful marriage.