Do you struggle to foster connections with your partner?


Do moments of heightened emotions cause you or your spouse to withdraw?


Are you or your significant other consumed by a fear of rejection?


A thriving marriage should be one of healthy intimacy and a sense of fulfillment. However, many couples cannot form deeper bonds simply because they do not understand one another's attachment style. In this blog post, we will identify different kinds of attachment, and provide 5 suggestions to help you to develop the relationship you've always wanted. 

Attachment styles form in childhood as a response to emotional needs or experiences. These are identifiable through patterns of behavior shown in the way we interact within adult relationships. There are four main attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized.


Secure attachment is characterized by a sense of safety and security in the relationship. People with this attachment style are able to trust and rely on their partners, and feel comfortable with intimacy. 


Anxious attachment is characterized by a fear of rejection and abandonment. People with this attachment style tend to be overly dependent on their partners and may have difficulty trusting them.


Avoidant attachment is characterized by a fear of intimacy and a tendency to withdraw from relationships. People with this attachment style often avoid expressing emotions and may have difficulty growing closer to their partners.


Disorganized attachment is characterized by a lack of consistency in a relationship. People with this attachment style may have difficulty forming stable, safe bonds and experience recurring conflict and uncertainty in their relationships.


Once you identify the attachment styles you and your partner operate within, you can manage this information to strengthen your relationship. Start by implementing a few of the following tips:


1. Communicate openly. Honest communication is the key to understanding one another's inner dialogue and addressing any issues that may arise. Encourage your partner to express their feelings of fear or discomfort, and be receptive to their perspective. 


2. Offer empathy and compassion. Acknowledge your partner's weak points and recognize that some powerful life experiences have molded the behavior that impacts your relationship today. Striving to understand is not excusing habits that need to change, but it may help your loved one to draw nearer to you and work through past pains.


3. Practice patience and forgiveness. Building a solid relationship requires time and effort, and it is natural to experience setbacks along the journey. Demonstrate an attitude of grace and forgiveness with your partner as you both work to become healthier versions of yourselves while improving your relationship.


4. Set aside intentional time for connection. Developing secure attachment requires purposeful moments of intimacy. Schedule regular blocks of time for activities that bring you and your partner closer together, such as date nights, day trips, and even small gestures like holding hands and cuddling.


5. If needed, seek professional help to address obstacles. A therapist or counselor may provide valuable guidance and support as you seek to improve your relationship.


Identifying your partner's attachment style can be crucial in promoting a loving relationship. By practicing open communication, showing empathy and compassion, demonstrating patience and forgiveness, and making time for intimacy, you can address areas of weakness and grow stronger together. Begin using these five suggestions today to lay a foundation of intimacy and form a rewarding relationship that will last a lifetime.


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