Releasing Past Pains to Move Forward


Does it feel as if the burden of your past will forever be a weight on your back?


As if no matter the effort you’ve taken to move on, you are dragged back into the muck of old heartaches, disappointments, and failures?


You were not meant to live life chained to pain and negativity. Constantly lugging around old conflicts and bitter memories will eventually take a toll on your mental health, your self-esteem, your relationships at home, and your role in the workplace.


However, whatever the hardships are that you have endured, there are a variety of ways to release the strain of suffering. These burdens can be laid down and you can absolutely walk forward in freedom!


Below are four basic tips to take that first step to healing and wholeness:


1. Speak Up. Find a friend or relative that you can safely confide in, and share your present struggle and past trauma. Allow yourself to feel and express fully the emotions connected to this situation. It is okay to cry, to scream, and to be transparent. 

After you have made the brave choice to speak up, it is time to relinquish the repetitive, pain-filled thoughts from your mind. Breaking these exhausting mental patterns and developing new neural pathways will prepare your heart for the journey ahead. 


2. Begin journaling. Journaling can offer a secure place to pour out your emotions and thoughts on paper without judgement or prying eyes. This is not an assignment, so there is no need to write instances in chronological order or even to use good grammar. The purpose is to acknowledge the emotions at bay and release them onto the pages. 


3. Pursue forgiveness. To forgive a wrongdoing does not justify it nor eradicate it from history. It doesn’t deny the havoc another’s decisions may have had on your life and the toll it took on your health. Choosing to forgive and let go of that thirst for vindication has no significance to the offender; it is intended to provide you with the closure you deserve. By forgiving, you are giving yourself permission to focus on the future rather than dwelling on the past. 


4. Find a professional to walk you through this process. While pouring out your heart to a friend can be healing in it’s own right, the complicated process of moving on might take some experienced navigation. Utilizing a professional allows some anonymity. They may give you an entirely different perspective or provide unique direction on how to gain ground for your heart and keep it. 


Wherever you have been and whatever trials you have encountered, you can overcome the past, to live in the present, to accept peace, and to thrive. What is the first step you need to take toward a life of freedom and restoration?



  1. Karen says:

    I’ve been married for 36 years and have begun counseling with my husband, but the extra support is a plus …..I have finally gotten through to my husband how much we needed help in our marriage…He denies and deflects alot in session ,but we are making small changes and they are helping.Honestly though i feel he’s still hiding things and I pray God reveals things and My husband owns up.

    • Smile says:

      Firstly, Karen, kudos to you and your husband for taking such a significant step by starting counseling. It takes immense courage to seek help and begin making changes, no matter how small they may seem. Remember, small steps can lead to big shifts over time.

      It’s natural to feel a sense of uncertainty and even fear when it comes to these deeply personal issues. Trust that your efforts are moving you in the right direction and, in time, truth and clarity have a way of surfacing. The important part is that you’re both committed to making progress.

      Keep holding on to your faith and continue expressing your feelings, both in your counseling sessions and with your husband directly. Communication is the key.

      Your journey toward healing and wholeness might seem challenging, but please know you’re not alone. Feel free to reach out here anytime you need extra support or a listening ear. Wishing you both strength and patience on this journey.

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