Most people rarely overlook an opportunity to celebrate an accomplishment. But did you ever think to celebrate your failure? That’s right! Celebrate your failure because it gives you the opportunity to try again.
Most people make the mistake in thinking that, because they failed at something, they should just move on. Or, if they failed it meant they were never meant to succeed at it. Well this is furthest from the truth!
When you're trying to accomplish something, failure is actually the most beneficial thing that can happen. An idea is rarely brought into fruition and successful with the first attempt. Most often it takes several trials and errors to finally perfect an idea or a skill or even a relationship! Do you think the light bulb was invented the first time around? What about your marriage? Once you said “I do” did you have a perfect marriage? Of course not!
The key point to remember is that you have to fail in order to learn how to make corrections and know that you've succeeded.
Think of a toddler learning how to walk. Although they give a fair share of tantrums during the learning stages, they pull themselves up after each fall and try to walk again. Instinctively they're teaching themselves how to perfect the movement all based on their past mistakes or failures. It's a trial and error process!
Now think of your marriage. At first you were learning how to understand one another, making mistakes in how you interpret one another in conversation or accidentally hurting one another’s feelings. Each time you stop and listen to your partner and say you’re sorry, you are taking steps to make amends and do better the next time.
Every mistake in relating to one another is a new opportunity to make the relationship stronger and therefore more successful.
There is another benefit to failing. Failure opens doors that will allow you to find out what you're really destined to do. Your negative experiences can help you narrow down your focus.
Certainly you know at least one person who went to college with the intent of getting one degree and as they went through their course work, having their successes and failures, they discovered a new career interest and changed their major.
In your marriage, for example, you may have made poor financial decisions. But each of these experiences can be used to learn more about your family’s needs or you and your spouse’s ways of dealing with money. You can take this information and create more focused and realistic financial goals for your family.
As long as you're able to learn from your mistakes, then they're not mistakes at all! They are opportunities for success!
There's always something to learn from each and every situation and once you understand the lesson, it will make you a better person.
Failure makes you a stronger person. Imagine what it would be like if everything you did always went your way and you were successful at everything you attempted. Then one day you failed! Maybe you failed so badly that you lost everything. How would you deal with that failure if you've never had to overcome an obstacle before?
Failing allows you to become more resilient so you can always figure out a way to move forward.
The first wheel may have been square and it moved, but it was wobbly and eventually fell over. But the inventors never gave up! They began to figure out how to make it more round so it would roll smoothly.
You can do the same in your life! Is your marriage struggling? Do you feel like you are failing in your relationship with your partner? Don’t give up! Take your mistakes and learn from them. Pick yourself up and figure out a way to move forward and turn your failures into successes!
YOU CAN DO IT!
Thank you Anne for the encouragement that in spite of our struggles and failures, it doesn’t mean that we or our marriages are failures, but these are opportunities to learn and grow. Your first statement that “you have to fail in order to learn how to make corrections and know that you’ve succeeded” seems to imply that all success have to be preceded by failure. I think that the purpose of your articles and seminars is to provide some guidelines to learn from the failures of others so that success can also be achieved without failure having learnt lessons and strategies from other persons’ experiences.
You’re welcome, Pauline! Absolutely, the goal is to support you along the path, avoid some pitfalls, and recover from others. The truth is even in trying new things failure will happen. In the broad scope of things, failure is part of our success. I hope that helps. 🙂