True heart ache… what is more painful? And the heavy toll it takes on your emotional self seems never ending! 

Sometimes it feels like being in a vicious loop that is impossible to get out of. 

You finally stop replaying the agonizing events in your mind, then something triggers those feelings of hurt, regret and doubt once again.  Although it's healthy to experience a range of emotions while working through heartache, it's unwise to allow the negative ones to consume your existence.

The only way to stop the cycle of heartache is to work towards healing the hurt.

As you process your emotions and make some changes to eliminate triggers, you can start to experience joy and happiness again. Emotional healing is possible if you work at repairing the source of the hurt. As you'll see, that may mean making some tough decisions:



If you're honest with yourself, you may realize that some of the negative influences may be the people closest to you! Separating yourself from these relationships will be difficult, but your emotional health is more important. Do any of your friends add fuel to the fire? Are there times when instead of helping you to see a situation objectively, they've reinforced your feelings of offense towards someone? Some people’s advice is riddled with negativity and may cloud your judgment. Keeping these individuals in your life can perpetuate the cycle of hurt and anger.



Take a hard look in the mirror. Did your actions result in the hurt you feel? Although it's so difficult to accept the part you played, it is critical to confront your wrongdoings in order to move past the hurt. Be courageous. Accept responsibility for your actions in the situation. Continuing to blame others for your mistakes leads to inner turmoil. Inner peace comes from identifying your part and taking responsibility towards resolution. Just as important is your willingness to forgive yourself. Doing so allows you to move on to better days ahead.



Everyone has a set of morals that they live by. Abandoning your morals is the easiest way to make missteps in life. Sometimes a hurting heart can lead you to follow your emotions instead of what you know is right for you. Go back to your roots. What really matters to you? Reinstate your morals one by one. If making a particular decision means forgoing your moral compass, take another route.  Set your focus on truths instead of being emotionally swayed from situation to situation. The best way to avoid getting lost in the sea of emotional decision-making is to depend on your moral compass to keep you on track.



It may feel like the road to emotional healing is long and winding and goes on forever. Although heart aches take time to heal, it can be done!  Recommit to the goal of emotional healing every morning when you wake up. Daily renewal is the best way to turn your hurt into a habit of healing. It's easy to slip back into the roundabout of pain and despair when you are not consistently and conscientiously addressing the problem. Remember, you deserve the healing and the hard work will pay off! At the end of each day, congratulate yourself for completing one more day of healing and positive living and remind yourself that you are one more step closer to peace and happiness.


The road to emotional healing can be long and difficult. But it is necessary in order to overcome inner turmoil and achieve a life of inner peace. Making the hard decisions now to make positive changes will lead you towards a healed heart. 


Focus on your goals and use these tips to guide you on your healing journey!


  1. Lynn Reid says:

    I’m not sure if I really have negative feelings about myself, I just don’t set boundaries like I should. My MS has put me in a wheelchair a (I’ve had it 36 years with fairly good leg movement for 5 years) . I’m a professional singer and have been quite busy until the pandemic came along. So I miss performing and being able to lift up Jesus in song.

    • Debra Minier says:

      Hello, Lynn! Something comes to my mind in reading your comment. The Pandemic has left many of us feeling isolated, but we’re never really alone, when we have Jesus! Sing, sing, sing to an audience of one — He’ll LOVE it! Be blessed. ~Ms. Deb.

    • Smile says:

      Lynn, you are valuable and cherished whether singing alone, for an audience, or in your heart. I praying your summer brought some refreshment to your soul!

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