Helping Your Inner Child Heal Past Wounds and Navigate Relationships

Life is a labyrinth of experiences, emotions, and growth. As I've connected with people charting their pathways to healing past wounds, one pattern emerges starkly. The echoes of their younger selves influencing their present.

Introduction: The Silent Whispers of Youth

In our pursuit of self-awareness, we sometimes miss the subtle nudges of our younger selves. These underlying emotions become our subconscious drivers steering us to self defeating behaviors such as becoming overbearing or shut down. 


The Emotional Backpack We Haul

Childhood, with its spectrum of emotions, imprints on our very essence. For some, it's colored by unaddressed desires, silent tears, and emotions stowed away. These remnants don’t just fade but deeply influence our adult relational dynamics. Our sudden reactions are actually not just about the immediate but also about the historical events of our lives.


Navigating Relationships with Baggage

Ever found yourself in a relationship seeking immediate emotional gratification? This urge, a desperate attempt to fill childhood gaps, especially through intimacy, is the inner child calling out. When such cries go unnoticed, they manifest as emotional eruptions, avoidance, or complete detachment from ourselves and/or others.


What Real Emotional Growth Looks Like

The paradox? While these individuals believe they’re chasing genuine connection, their actions mirror a deeper truth – their emotional age hasn’t caught up with their physical age. The same is true when individuals subconsciously cause distance in their relationship, knowingly or not. This is usually about self-protection physically, emotionally, or spiritually. 


The Inner Expedition: Embracing and Guiding the Inner Child

True healing sprouts from introspection. The road to understanding and comforting your inner child can be enlightening and transformative. You can’t journey to a strong, healthy place if you don‘t know where you are starting. This introspection will help you navigate to freedom and joy. 


Meeting Your Younger Self

Unraveling our layers, we often find the pure, untainted essence of our younger days. Think back to your earliest memories. Was there a time when you felt free to play, cry, talk, and be heard?


Acknowledging Your Intrinsic Value

Every facet of your inner child, be it fears, aspirations, or love, merits your warmth. Past neglect or abuse shouldn't dictate today's view of yourself. You get to be the parent to that little boy or girl you once were. You are treasured as the child of our Heavenly Daddy. He sees you for who you are, and He loves you!


Starting a Dialogue with the Past

Ever pondered a chat with your past self? Journaling, which I fervently recommend, offers this platform. Pose questions and let the child within respond. It's healing, truly. This can be a great tool when you realize something has upset you in the present as well. Ask your younger self if they have felt this feeling before, how old they were, and what happened. 


Harmonizing the Past with the Present

While cherishing the inner child is healing, balance is essential. Your present self, enriched with life’s experiences, should steer the ship, mentoring the child within. Remember, God’s grace is sufficient, so, don’t let shame or subconscious drivers run the show.


Partnerships and Personal Journeys

Every relationship is a dance of give and take. “…If one falls down, the other can help him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:10 Choose to partner on your journey. Remember, you can heal together!


Delineating Relationship Boundaries

Your significant other is a powerful ally in your healing, but he or she isn't a stand-in for parental figures. Expecting them to do your work to mend your emotional scars is both unrealistic and detrimental. It’s a collaborative effort to create a healing home. “Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.” Proverbs 11:25


Crafting Resilient Bonds Through Shared Evolution

Together, partners can lay a foundation of shared respect and understanding. Celebrate each other’s victories, offer solace in tough times, and always, always, communicate.

Conclusion: Setting Sail on the Healing Voyage

The quest to reconnect and nurture your inner essence might be intricate, but the yield? Priceless. A rejuvenated self, fortified partnerships, and a life brimming with authenticity beckon.


Frequently Asked Questions

How do I initiate conversations with my inner self?

  • Start with introspective practices like journaling or meditation.

Is leaning on my partner for emotional support beneficial?

  • While it's healthy to seek support, it's essential to differentiate between support and dependency. Personal healing is crucial, and ideally, your spouse can be your confidant and friend during the process.

Do bygone traumas significantly sway my present relationships?

  • Indeed. Past experiences, especially those unresolved, shape how we engage in and perceive relationships.

How do I ensure my inner emotions don’t overshadow my relationships?

  • Regular self-reflection, prayer, and cultivating self-awareness can help strike an emotional balance. Remember, you can heal together on your journey

What if my partner struggles to grasp my healing journey?

  • Open dialogue is imperative. Share your experiences, emotions, and if necessary, consider professional support. Your spouse would likely benefit from a healing journey of their own. Ask open-ended questions and graciously hold space for them as well. 

Want to discuss this with a Fully Thriving Coach? Schedule a call HERE.


  1. Marti says:

    Beautifully articulated, Anne. Understanding what has been driving me all my life is so empowering. Doesn’t remove the pull, but I can talk through it in my head now and replace the lies with Truth (scripture)— which quiets my soul.

    • Smile says:

      Amen and thank you! I appreicate your heart, Marti! As you keep taking those thoughts captivate, the pull gets weaker. 🙂

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